Yes, you read right. This post is all about why I will quit traveling. Ironically, I wrote it while I was sitting on the endless iconic Trans-Siberian railroad. You see something happened a year ago that made me carefully consider my priorities and gave me a glimpse of what can happen to someone who is an avid globetrotter for their entire life. Now it has never been my priority to travel forever. But I admit to having been really intrigued by these people who had done so.
I had taken an all night bus from San Jose Costa Rica and arrived at the Panama/Costa Rica border as the tropical sun threw its first beams of light into the chaotic place. After about two hours of standing in line I walked across no man’s land to enter Panama. The line was ridiculously long and I stood there for another two hours. Directly in front of me was a wizened old man. Long grey hair in a neat ponytail trailing down from behind an eastern European style hat, piercing blue eyes, olive skin with a grey and blue back pack that shouted world-traveler.
I was intrigued and tried to strike up a conversation. That didn’t work. He was not interested in talking to me. Oh well, I got it. He had traveled for about 50 years, and I for only 3 years.
But then he struck up a conversation with the blonde haired blue eyed Irish girl in front of him who was in her low twenties. At least he tried. She made it very obvious that she did not wish to visit but she answered his questions. It was her first trip abroad. A light dawned on me. The sage did not wish to chat with me because I was not a cute girl. A tiny bit of rage seeped into me.
I listened to the (mostly one sided) conversation. The respected elderly gentleman had been traveling abroad for nearly 50 years. The places he saw, the adventures he had had left one in awe. Without a trace of regret he confided to her that during this time he lost track of his mother, his family, his friends. He didn’t even know if they were alive now. He was heading to Panama to attend an international travelers event that focused on uniting countries and finding peace through meditation. He confided to her that he hoped to find peace there. He asked her if she would like to go with him. The answer was a resounding no. But he didn’t give up. He kept trying to convince Miss Irish of why she should go along, the great time they would have. How he knows this is the event at which he will find the peace and happiness he had been searching for some fifty years and so could she. Not that she had admitted to searching the all elusive peace her new found acquaintance so desperately sought.
Something in me was disgusted at the idea of a 70 year old man repeatedly trying to pick up a 23 year old girl. But as I thought about it the disgust drained away and I was filled with sadness for this man.
This is not me. When I am an old man I would very much prefer to be surrounded by friends and family. To be a respected pillar within my community. To have made a difference in the world. I realize that to be a respected old man one must first be a respected young man.
There is something about traveling that is strangely addictive. I have never in all my  travels felt like I have been searching for something such as peace. It is the unquenched curiousity of meeting new people. The relentless drive to see God’s great big green earth. But this incident showed me the end of the path for this lifestyle of travel if one is searching for fulfillment. It can absolutely not be found. Following this incident I carefully re-evaluated my love of traveling. What drives me to do it. I discovered that I value people much more than places. I have found that I forget many details of the cities and countries I have been to, but long after these memories crumble and fade in the dust the vibrancy of friendship shines through.
So no, I will not quit traveling. I truly can not imagine life without an occasional trip abroad. But it’s not the most important thing in my life. My family, friends, neighbors, and community are much more important.